'She began to cry': Gamer boyfriend carves out private moments to play his game while he's on vacation, attention-seeking girlfriend snaps at him and threatens their relationship

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jun 24, 2023 2:00 PM EDT

Gaming as a hobby is largely misunderstood. Obviously there's a fine line between obsession and casual play, but for those gamers who like to play games to relax, could argue that there's no difference between powering up your Switch and playing a riff on the guitar or reading a book. So when a gamer is in a relationship with a non-gamer, things can go topsy turvy with misconceptions, but at what point can a game make or break romance?

One man found out the limits of his non-gaming girlfriend while they were on an extended vacation in Portugal, realizing the lengths she would go to cut games out of his life, replacing his relaxing hobby with couple's retreats, fancy dates, and honeymoon suites. 

Keep scrolling to embark on the emotional roller coaster of one gamer's dilemma where he was forced to choose his game (aka his peace and relaxation) over the attention-seeking woman of his dreams. For more drama queens, click here for a collection of nostalgic Y2K memes for baddies shaped by the early 2000's. 

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  • 02
    Font - Posted by u/the-grip-of-Ntropy 7 hours ago AITA for waking up extra early on my vacation, to get some me-time on the computer?
    via the-grip-of-Ntropy
  • 03
    Font - Good morning folks, currently I (m31) and my gf (30) are on vacation in Portugal, which is very cool. We spend the whole day together, do sunbathing, yesterday we went on a beautiful boattrip and all in all we enjoy our time together here.
    via the-grip-of-Ntropy
  • 04
    Font - However, we have a problem in our relationship, which is driving us a bit apart and we can't find a even ground. I like to game and I recharge myself while doing so, she doesn't understand it at all.
    via the-grip-of-Ntropy
  • 05
    Font - Don't get me wrong, i fully understand that it is not simple to live with somebody who loves it to gaze into a display all the time, which is why I heavily restrict it when we spend time together. I give her my phone while we are out and give it all to be present.
    via the-grip-of-Ntropy
  • 06
    Font - Yesterday we came home from the boattrip and wanted to grab some dinner. She went showering and wanted to wash her hair, because they were all sandy and salty from the watersplashes. While she was showering, I opened my notebook and did 1-2 quests while waiting for her to step out of the shower. This seemed to be a mistake, she didn't like it one bit. She came out, i finished the quest (5min) and got ready.
    via the-grip-of-Ntropy
  • 07
    Font - After dinner we went sleeping. Today i woke up at 6am, and decided to make me a coffee and to start the game while she was sleeping anyway. I left the room, and played on mute, so she could sleep in peace. My mouse and my keyboard are both extra silent, you literally hear nothing - especially when you are in the next room.
    via the-grip-of-Ntropy
  • 08
    Font - However she woke up and began to cry, and asked ,,how is it possible, that you use every little timeframe you get to play on that thing instead of doing something with me?" What else can I do, than playing in timeslots where we aren't together? Is she right, am i the a hole here?
    via the-grip-of-Ntropy
  • 09
    Font - Gut NAVY SigSauerPower320 Professor Emeritass [90] ΝΤΑ 7 hr. ago There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with what you're doing. It's quite literally the same as watching TV or reading a book. She was sleeping or in the shower. What are you supposed to do??? Sit there in the corner staring at the wall with your hands folded waiting for her next command?
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  • 10
    Font - Nope!!! When she's occupied, you're allowed to do whatever you want. Whether it be go for a run, play a guitar, write a poem, read a book, or watch tv.
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  • 11
    Font - Electrical-Date-3951 5 hr. ago "I give her my phone while we are out and give it all to be present." Couples need to be able to enjoy some free time and take part in their hobbies. It would drive me crazy if my partner wanted me to spend every waking moment with them. That said, I found the above line curious. If OP needs to give his GF his phone to keep himself from playing games when they are out and has to force himself to be present - then OP's gaming may have ventured into unhealthy
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    Font - Emorik 5 hr. ago on the other hand, if she takes his phone to be sure all attention is on her at all times, it is not healthy. OP, does she take it due to past instances where you both felt you need it taken to be in the moment? Or does she take it without any legit concern, just a guarantee attention is only for her.
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  • 13
    Font - wildcat12321 3 hr. ago agree, one hint I see where I question if he is a reliable narrator - "She came out, i finished the quest (5min) and got ready." So OP says he is present when they are together, but then he says he spent an extra 5 mins finishing the quest before getting ready. I know a heck of a lot of gamers who say "5 mins" when it is really 20.
    via wildcat12321
  • 14
    Font - trymeone13 2 hr. ago Every time my husband says 5 minutes on his game, he means 20-25. I have gotten to the point that I tell him we need to leave a half hour earlier than we do so he doesn't start something that will be "10 minutes." Even then there are times I'm shoving him out the door. He acknowledges that his 5 minutes mean much longer(we have both timed it)
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    Font - RookCrowJackdaw 3 hr. ago Same. I have a friend who is permanently glued to her phone. Having dinner together is an exercise in patience. Mine. On the other hand, my ex could not bear me giving my focus to anything other than him, or doing things that did not involve him. Books, letters, phone calls, social activities without him. He controlled it tighter and tighter until I had no life. So this behaviour of OPS GF sends up major red flags for me.
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  • 16
    Font - KayLovesPurple. 2 hr. ago But we don't know which it is. You admit that having dinner with your friend is an exercise in patience, what if their whole life was like this before they agreed it's better if he just gives up his phone?
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  • 17
    Font - I wouldn't call myself needy, and I never took anyone's phone away, but the guy I was talking about earlier was exasperating. We were going out to eat and he couldn't take his eyes off the phone enough to order, that kind of thing. After going through enough similar episodes, I can fully see her become annoyed enough to just take the phone away, as she can see no other way to fix it. Is that the right thing to do? I don't think so. Is he blameless? I really don't think so either.
    via KayLovesPurple
  • 18
    Font - While I can't vote y-t-a because we simply do not know who is actually to blame, I also won't vote n-t-a for the same reason. Remember we only see his side of the story, hers might be entirely different.
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  • 19
    Rectangle - sccforward 3 hr. ago At the end of the day, needing to give your phone to your partner to maintain relationship harmony is not healthy.
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    Font - Canopenerdude 1 hr. ago A third option exists, which is they both made a decision to put their phones in a hidden away place (like her purse) while travelling so that they mutually are focused on each other. It could have been a decision they made together with no contention behind it.
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  • 21
    Font - Rare-Bumblebee-1803 5 hr. ago I was married for almost 40 years. I worked evenings a lot when my children were young. I stayed at home to look after my children. I am convinced that being at work helped us to stay married for so long. We each had our own interests and hobbies. You do need to have some time for yourself in any relationship. My marriage ended when my husband passed away. You are very much NTA.
    via Rare-Bumblebee-1803
  • 22
    Font - PuddyTatTat 3 hr. ago well, if GF is upset enough to burst into tears and have a melt- down because he's gaming *WHILE SHE'S ASLEEP* then I'd say that's a 'her' problem. Now if he pulled out his system while they're out sight-seeing, or even if they're just lounging on the balcony...sure, I could see her getting upset. But she's literally ASLEEP. What does she expect him to do? Sit there and stare at her while she sleeps? ΝΤΑ
    via PuddyTatTat
  • 23
    Font - harmcharm77. 1 hr. ago If we're talking about a problem, then it's not about him gaming while she's sleeping. It's about him compulsively seeking out every spare minute to game at the expense of his own rest, time with her on vacation, etc.
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  • 24
    Rectangle - BudgetPaint29022 hr. ago If he wakes earlier, he should wake her up. Turn it around and tell her he wants her to spend time with him. See how long that lasts before she tells him to let her sleep.
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    Font - tango421 2 hr. ago Partassipant [1] Yeah, I mean the wife and I have many hobbies that intersect and we still require our own me time. ΝΤΑ
    via tango421

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boyfriend gamer break up drama romantic gaming romance attention relationship-drama gamers video game relationships girlfriend love video games video game logic obsessed Hardcore Gamerz
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